How Much Sex is too Much in MM Books?

I guess what I’m doing here, is looking for ideas.  As a writer, I include sex scenes in my books, because to me it is a natural part of the romance process – I consider my books erotic romances, where the romance and the development of the relationship between two men is as important as the sex scenes.  This is opposed to straight out erotica, which I read, but don’t write.  Without the romance, for me the sex in my stories would be, well, a limp dick I suppose. Or very sweet, which I don’t think I do.

So I probably should have refined the title of this post – how much sex is too much in romance MM books.  In erotica books you expect a lot of sex and if there is romance as well, then that is a bonus.  In romance, you want the love story, but after reading some posts and reviews I noticed that there are a number of romance books that are considered “sweet” as opposed to “hot,” and in a couple of reviews the reviewer mentioned ‘fading to black’ rather than the two men having sex. I wouldn’t read those books.  That might make me shallow as a reader, but I want to read about my men having sex because it is a normal part of life and love.  You can tell a lot about the way two men interact by the way they have sex with each other and pillow talk, and shared passion is a bonus that adds to a relationship, especially if it is relatively new.

But then, I have seen reviews that have mentioned that there is too much sex in a book.  This can be either, the MCs were having sex when it didn’t fit with the storyline, or the writer threw in sex scenes that didn’t do anything for the storyline.  One of the reasons this question hit my brain was because I have reached a point in my current book, (Getting Close to the Omega), where it would be natural for the two men to have sex.  They have been apart for days, not by choice, they’re shifters so they have a high sex drive anyway, and it would be natural for them to do the deed.  But I decided to come and write some blog posts instead of diving into the sex; in part because my NaNo brain is tired and writing sex scenes can be exhausting. But also because I was considering the amount of sex that is in the book already.

It’s been four or five chapters since sex was even mentioned. There isn’t a lot of sex in my books compared to others I have read. I pride myself on all of my books having a solid storyline and a romance story along with the sex. And given what I have just written, it would make sense for my characters to have sex now.  But I’m waffling in a blog post instead.  Maybe I just need a drink first, then I can go back to writing my book. But in the meantime I would love to know what you think – in romance books, how much sex is too much?

Definitely drink time 🙂

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2 responses to How Much Sex is too Much in MM Books?


  1. Mary

    I agree with you.vsex is natural. I hate books that are 75 pages long, and out of those 50 are sex. Plot, personality, and conflict are so important. These things need to compliment the sex and vice versa. You do amazing.mlove your books.