I write, that’s who I am

I write.  Eight to ten hours a day, sometimes more. Seven days a week, I sit at my computer, or curl up on the couch with my iPad and I write. I open my mind, think of my characters and the words flow. New worlds emerge from my fingertips and I’m in heaven as I experience every up and down my characters go through. There are some days I am positively panting and wanting a smoke, lol.  But the next day I get up and carry on wondering what next exciting thing is going to happen.

There are those who are close to me who might complain that I don’t have a life, but I love what I do. Every night at around 6pm my little Scruffy comes into my office and sits at my feet, letting me know it’s time to play. I take myself out for lunch sometimes, with my iPad, and when my kids come down to see me, I spend time with them of course. But for the most part, I write.  It’s my life and I love it.

“What’s the point of this post then”, I can hear you asking.  “I enjoy your books. You haven’t put one out this month yet. Shouldn’t you be back finishing Liam’s Lament or The Necromancer’s Smile?” Well, yes, I should be and thank you for pointing that out, but I had to post today. You see a horrible thing happened on Facebook today and it seriously made me wonder whether I should continue with what I do. Someone, well a couple of someone’s actually, suddenly thought they could control what I do – take credit for it even; insinuate themselves into my lives and gently wrest my lovely readers from my caring hands under the guise of friendship.

I couldn’t allow that; my readers who are a source of inspiration, hope, excitement and love deserved more than that. So, with tears pouring down my face, I asked the admin of my beloved Paranormal group to shut it down. It was gutting. I couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to willing destroy the social media presence of people I considered good friends, and yet, my friends, that is exactly what happened and why I did what I did.

I don’t understand how this happened. I don’t even know why it happened. I just know that some good friends of mine were hurt by others pretending to be my friends. And me, I just wanted to write. I steadfastly avoid conflict online of any kind. But in this case I couldn’t bury my head in the sand and pretend it wasn’t happening because it was my friends being hurt through suspensions and banning on Facebook.

And that is why I needed to write this post – to let you know where I stand on this. I have always enjoyed every single post, comment, message and more from my readers. Every day there is something new to see that one of my lovely readers thinks I would enjoy. And I do enjoy them every day, and my group was a big part of that. Now my group is being refashioned into a fan club and I won’t be a part of that. I wasn’t even told about it. I have my teaser group on Facebook of course, and for now I will keep that running although I don’t know for how long.

Because you see, I am not sure now if I can write, or if I should. I am not sure I can fill my pages with HEAs when some people I trusted are just so hateful. When some people can take my reputation that I have worked solidly 365 days a year for four years to build, and try and destroy it. Forty books I have written in that time. Forty stories full of love and caring; all crafted to make my readers smile as they come to the end of them. The jealousy and hatred behind the online actions I experienced today floored me. I would never in my worst nightmare cause issues for other people online or off. I care for every single person who I consider my friend.

So now I am a little bit battered and a lot sad; I am questioning that huge thing that is my life. And yes, I am reaching out to you from my safe space. I desperately need to know from those who love what I do, that it’s worth my continuing. Today of all days, I need to know that what I do means something to someone. Because I write, you see, and if I didn’t write, then I wouldn’t have a clue who I was anymore. I’m just not sure that I can right now. 

Hug the one you love my friends.

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94 responses to I write, that’s who I am


  1. Judy Stone

    Lisa, I’m saddened, heartsick, and still not completely sure what went on. I can only imagine the bewilderment and sorrow you’re feeling—betrayed by people you befriended and trusted. I’m so ticked off at those trolls who dared to take something wonderful and destroy it.

    The only thing we can do when life throws curve balls is hang on, put one foot in front of the other, and appreciate what is, not dwell on what isn’t. In case you think I’m blowing smoke, it’s the only thing that kept me sane. If it wasn’t for the kindness of strangers I’d be broke and homeless. Nutshell? Husband died; income slashed; moved in with stepson and for the first time I had housemates. Eek! ‘Twas an eye-opening experience. I’m focusing on living in the now and finding joy where I can; I learned firsthand that there are no guarantees.

    Lisa, I don’t know if you remember when we met. In January 2016 you asked for beta readers and I applied. I was a freelance editor before real life knocked me for a loop. I’d lost my mind and my ability to concentrate, but you took a chance on me. I don’t think you realize that when you offered me a spot on your beta reading team, you saved my life and restored my self-esteem. When working on your stories, you invariably grab me by the throat with your skillful description of scenes using all five senses. I feel like I’m hiding in your character’s pocket. As a writer it’s your duty to put your MCs through the wringer; I’m sucked into their drama, knowing they’d (eventually) get their HEA. I’m on a darned roller coaster ride, experiencing the highs and lows, the happy and the sad times. I love every blinking minute.

    The world would be a sadder place if you decide to stop writing, Lisa. I am constantly rereading your books because they are so well crafted, but more than that, they’re uplifting and joyous and comforting. They are my safe haven in a world gone mad or when RL is just too damn overwhelming.

    We’ve gotten close through the years and you’re my sister I’ve always wanted. At the risk of being soppy, one of my closest friends and I love you.

    You need to do what’s best for you. If these cretin’s have sucked the joy out of your craft, your Muse has thrown in the towel, and you decide you can’t continue writing, I fully support you. As a reader and a faithful fan, I’d love for you to continue writing but only if it’s good for you.

    I’m an old Trekkie, so I’ll end on this note: Live long and prosper. Judy Stone

  2. Michelle Saunders

    Hi Lisa,
    Like Judy I am sadden to hear about what has happened. Reading has been my escape, something that has kept me sane through some difficult and trying times in my life. I want you to know that I very much enjoy your work and you are one of my auto buy authors. I hope you don’t give up what you love, however I am sure your faithful/loyal readers will understand if you need to step back and regroup. Wishing you lots of joy, love and laughter. Michelle

  3. Raylene Harden

    Thank you Lisa, for all the beautiful stories you have written. I am mostly against social media, only having a Facebook account to appease my relatives, and the reason for that is a combination of experiences similar to yours, and stalkers.

    There are always people who are so lacking in themselves that they feel they have to take from other to build themselves up. They are, of course, usually convinced that everyone is taking from them instead. Insanity takes a lot of forms, and this one is becoming increasingly common.

    I decided after my last stalker experience (and really, how crazy is it that I had to move to another state because someone I did not know, who I said no to any form of contact with from the time I met him, could then feel he had the right to follow me home repeatedly?), that one way or another I was going to write and start publishing the stories in my head. While this is partly because I feel the creation of beautiful things and stories are needed to make the world a more beautiful and loving place, it is mostly a matter of vengeance. I REFUSE to allow people who are weak and cowardly to control my life.

    There are many experiences I have not had in my life, but I have come to discover that my emotional state is almost completely a result of what I choose to focus on. I am hypoglycemic, and this is one of the lessons I have learned from this health condition. My emotions are a combination of what and how recently I have eaten, and what I choose to think about. Both of those things are under MY control.

    I think writing is something that makes you happy (it certainly makes me happy), so I encourage you, even if you choose for your emotional health not to publish for a while, or ever again, KEEP WRITING! It is a part of you, and you should not cut off pieces of yourself to appease abusive jerks.

    Look for the things that give you joy, take a deep breath when you encounter the painful things, let yourself feel it, but then let it go. Other people’s pain is not yours, you have no need to take it on or fix them, and trying to do so can lead to them being broken longer. A person heals and becomes a better human being through their own choices. While you can be an example, and be honest with them, you can’t cure them, that is entirely their responsibility.

  4. Margaret P

    Lisa, I am truly sorry that you have had to go through this. I personally do not have a FB account so I really have no idea what happened. I just want you to know that I look so forward to your emails – updates – and your wonderful books. Please don’t let anyone stop you from using your talents. Wishing you all the best.

  5. JC Kelly

    Please know that you are loved & that my prayers are with you. I can’t say I understand everything you are going through. I can say that your stories & characters have helped me in ways most would not understand.

    I had retreated from the world & books helped me come back from the edge of having to be committed. Yeah I was that close to total withdraw. Your Cloverleah series actually reminded me that HEA do exist. I still reread all your books. Parts of the stories have me laughing out loud; no matter where I am. I get the strangest looks when I do laugh like that. I just grin at anyone who looks at me weirdly. I also tell anyone who asks what book I am reading. ~Grins~

    You & your books are not the only reason I am recovering, but they have & are a part of it. So I understand how the actions of a few haters have hurt you. They can try all they want to take your stories, or claim the stories are theirs. Your true fans & hopefully friends know the truth; you are the original. Take all the time you need. We will be waiting for you & your stories.

    Be safe, be happy.
    JC
    (ABookFiend)

  6. Lisa Clayton

    Lisa,

    As it happens, I am Lisa also😁. For a very long time I had several people in my life just like the people who did that to you. I was very insecure with myself and thought it i just try harder. It took a very !ong time for me to see I was just fine the way I was and it was them and their jealousy that was the real issue. So I stopped trying to change who I was and just decided to be me 100%. I left those people and situations behind and I’m so very much better for it. My point is don’t change who you are by the cruel actions of a few. You stories are amazing and have gotten me through a few of my depression issue just by rereading the books you have written. You are amazing just continue as you are be happy with yourself and remember no matter you belief or how you word it. You real what you sew, what comes around goes around, KARMA!!!!!!! Everyone that did that to you will get what’s deserved in due time. I hope you’re able to witness it😈😇. Smile and he happy i can’t wait til your next book….

    XOXO
    Lisa

  7. Lisao79

    Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, thank you to everyone who took the time out of their busy days to let me know you still cared for me and my stories. You have all renewed my faith in human nature and you’ll be pleased to know I am writing again and Liam’s Lament will be finished soon.

    I may write, but I don’t have the words to express how much you all mean to me. I won’t forget this ever. Thank you all. Love Lisa XXXXXXXXX

  8. Barbara

    Lisa,
    Your message just broke my heart. I am sorry that there are people like that in the world. I have read all of your books and I anxiously await your new work. Your stories provide the perfect escape when life gets too stressful.

  9. Amina Hill

    Hi Lisa, I’ve never posted before and I don’t really understand what happened to you but I want you to know that I LOVE your books. I don’t have them all it I love the Alpha and Omega Series, the Stockton Wolves Series and the Northern States Pack. I have a few more and I always look forward to your new thoughts and new releases. I hope you get through whatever happened to you with the support of your family and just know that you do not write in vain.

  10. Katrina

    Lisa, I’m sorry to hear you had a bad experience with fb. I personally feel many people put social media above everything and everyone else. Remember the days when you had family dinners and everyone talked at the table instead of looking at their phones. My daughter is a snap chat fanatic and doesn’t understand how I read as much as I can. Your books and a few other authors books help with my depression and help me to remember that a happy ending can happen for anyone. I’ve read all of your series and can’t wait until another one comes out. I sincerely hope that the actions of a few bad people don’t take away your desire to write. I know that many readers along with myself would be upset but understanding. Thanks for all the wonderful stories and hopefully many more!!

  11. Fel

    Good morning,

    I am sorry that this happenend to you. I love your books and have read every single one more than once. Please continue and try to ignore hate. You make the world a better plave.

    Fhumes

  12. Avril Stepowski

    I am so sorry I have been out of the loop. Just hope you know that without your books, I would have many more miserable days. Keep doing what you do best.

  13. Kira bennetts

    Hi Lisa
    Im sorry to hear that social media is the cause for you to start doubting yourself and what you do. Your books bring so much joy to my life when im feeling the strain of life coming over me. I pick up one of your books so i can escape to a place that i know has a happy ending.
    I hope that you can push through this hard time and continue doing something that you enjoy not just for us readers but for yourself too.
    Thankyou for your books, your time, your heart and soul. Kira Bennetts

  14. Sruthi

    Hi Lisa,

    I love your work. I am waiting eagerly for the next book your are going to release. Just finished Liam’s Lament. Please keep writing.