Sometimes you have to just go with the flow…

October was not kind to me lol. Things I ordered didn’t turn up; services I requested failed to materialize; I was supposed to be at GRL but couldn’t go at the last minute because of health issues, and those health issues have been kicking my butt in writing terms. All the wonderful ideas in my head clouded by worry and stress, which is not a nice place for my characters to be.

I am not by nature a negative person; I work hard to stay positive no matter what happens in my day. But when I am sitting alone at my computer, it’s hard to keep the smilie face on sometimes. Those days when I want to write, but when I am faced with a blank screen all I can worry about is my health, finances and if the next book I write will be a total flop. (Incidentally, I don’t think my wonderful editor would let me write a total flop, but you get the gist).

I couldn’t go to GRL because I’ve been having issues – my heart mostly. My doctor advised me the twenty-three hour flight to Kansas City was not in my best interests and I’m currently waiting to see a cardiologist. As a veteran of three heart attacks already, I’m doing my best not to have a fourth.

Unfortunately, I have also been having problems with headaches and blurred vision. My head’s been scanned, there’s nothing visibly wrong, and the doctor thinks it could be stress, but I have to have that checked out after I’ve seen the cardiologist. That, combined with my complex PTSD and anxiety issues – well, it doesn’t make creativity any easier for me.

I want to write – I always want to write, but sometimes it’s not possible. I was so determined to hit my 150K target for NaNo this year especially when I came so heartbreakingly close to it last year; I’m supposed to be starting it today. But I know in my current mental state, a goal that high isΒ just not possible. I will write – I’ve started Trent’s story from Stockton Wolves, but my dream of completing two books this month is not likely to happen unless I want to kill myself…or it might. I don’t know. Hopefully November will be kinder for me than October has been.

What I have decided to do, is release all of my worries to the Universe, and concentrate on doing what I love – writing. I know I posted a couple of weeks back my book writing schedule and what I hope to publish over the coming months; I don’t know if that’s now realistic or not. I’m just going to go with the flow; I’m going to write the stories that sing in my soul and I’m not going to worry about anything else. I’m going to find the joy I felt in my first ten or so books, and I am going to hang onto it tight.

Because without JOY there’s no point in living. Find your joy and hang on tight, and as always thank you so much for your continued support. You bring so much sunshine into my life πŸ™‚

Personal, The NaNoWriMo Challenge , ,

16 responses to Sometimes you have to just go with the flow…

  1. Diane Bryant

    Sweetheart, write what is in your head, if it is line with the schedule you gave us, fine but if not then don’t worry about it. You writing your stories should be for you and we just get the privilege of reading them. If you don’t feel like writing then don’t make yourself bc then it becomes work and not a JOY. Take care of you and I will see you on the flipside.

  2. Helena Rose

    We love you Lisa! We live your stories and your characters. I’m sure all of us will wait as long as necessary for you wonderful sorties! So concentrate on YOU and your health. Stay positive !! πŸ’•

  3. G.O .

    Take care of yourself and do as your doctors advise. Your health is important. We will all be waiting here for you when you feel better. : )

  4. Fiona Bernard

    If you write it, I will read it!!! I love your books Lisa but I also want you stay healthy and happy. So please look after yourself, I would really love to enjoy your books for many years to come.

  5. Rebecca E

    Aw….feel better Ms. Lisa!! We will still be here next month and the month after that, and the month after that! Your health has to be first, no matter what. If you are not healthy now and not working to be healthy, than two months from now it’s not going to be any better. Take care of yourself!

  6. Xanthe Anderson

    As a person who’s illness affects my everyday life, I fully sympathise with the impact everything has been having on you and your itinerary. I’m so sorry that it’s happened during a time when you had specifics planned as well, that’s always worse. However, the positive thinking that you’ve got going on is inspiring to the rest of us. Your books bring joy when I read them and I can’t wait for the next, though without further risk to your health of course!
    Good luck with November, I truly hope that your health is better for you and that you can do a lot more of what you love πŸ™‚

  7. Cali

    Oh hon… we told you before … and we will keep saying …YOUR health is way WAY more important .. I WILL wait FOREVER for your πŸ“š. You take care of YOU.

  8. Judy Stone

    It doesn’t matter if your writing schedule gets tossed out the window as long as you’re healthy and CAN write. Find your joy, write what you love and what sings to your soul. When you do that, you’ll be golden.

    Hugs and take care of yourself!

  9. Erith

    So sorry to hear that your health issues have returned with a vengeance to stress you so badly.

    Yes, we love your books but your health must come first. You can only write when you have this major worry resolved.

    Do what you can put you are number one!

    My sincere best wishes for health.

    Take care.

  10. lorraine

    oh sweetie I hope you feel better soon, don’t try to take on to much with your writing just concentrate on feeling better, your books will never flop, you are to good for that and we your loyal readers will wait for when ever you are ready to give us your storys, think of you and your family and concentrate on getting better . hugs and loves to you

  11. Lisao79

    Thank you – all of you for your wonderful support – I plan on being around for a long time yet, and while the books might be a bit slower in getting there, I love my men too much to stop writing.

    You have made my day – thank you all so much for being so understanding πŸ™‚



  12. Susan Rawlings

    Write when you want we will wait.You are worth waiting for. Hugs and best wishes.

  13. Donna Mayer

    You are one of my favorite authors and that won’t change so, take care of both your mental and physical self.

  14. KarenJ

    It’s more important that you take care of your health then stay on line with your book schedule. We want you healthy so that you can continue writing all these awesome, hot male/male books that we enjoy so much. πŸ˜› So take care of you right now. We’ll be waiting, mostly patiently, for whenever your next book comes out.

  15. Donna

    You take of yourself, you fans will understand and stand behind you, in spirit. Gain from us your fans to get better each day. Take it one day at atime